let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
