yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
