There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
