Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
