who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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