I'm gonna have a badass scar
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
