So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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