according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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