You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
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I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
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I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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