After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize