he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
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Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
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He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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