Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
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