Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
