she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
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At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
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I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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