you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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