none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
