It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
