I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
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