He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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