I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
