Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
