dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
