I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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