So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
