Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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