I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize