I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
