You can't special order awesome
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
