i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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