I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
FUCK WHALES
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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