I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
