Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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