I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
