i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
