Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
