Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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