Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
