My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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