After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My cat gives me a boner
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
