He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
