she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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