just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
