thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
