Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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