I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
