I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize