He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
