READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
