I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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