he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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