all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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