so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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