hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
