You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
