Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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