How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
