Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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