white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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