did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize