She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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