I smell stomach acid.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
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Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.