apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
